Illegal Immigration
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal RevenueService, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted theDepartment of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the processfor becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passedby the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of thisbill 's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been inthe United States for five years, all I need to do to become acitizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the lastfive years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to getthe process started before everyone figures it out.Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to paytaxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding twoyears of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any waythat I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield anexcellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in2004 and 2005.Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the localemergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stoppedpaying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I couldsave almost $10,000 a year.Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughterwould receive preferential treatment relative to her law schoolapplications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many collegesthroughout the United States for my son.Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of theburden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome carinsurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I stillhave college age children driving my car.If you would provide me with an outline of the process to becomeillegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,I would be most appreciative.Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald RuppertBurlington , IA
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal RevenueService, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted theDepartment of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the processfor becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passedby the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of thisbill 's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been inthe United States for five years, all I need to do to become acitizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the lastfive years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to getthe process started before everyone figures it out.Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to paytaxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding twoyears of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any waythat I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield anexcellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in2004 and 2005.Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the localemergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stoppedpaying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I couldsave almost $10,000 a year.Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughterwould receive preferential treatment relative to her law schoolapplications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many collegesthroughout the United States for my son.Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of theburden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome carinsurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I stillhave college age children driving my car.If you would provide me with an outline of the process to becomeillegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,I would be most appreciative.Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald RuppertBurlington , IA
posted by steven-hoffman | 2:54 PM
3 Comments:
Sign me up. I think I could find a way to spend that extra cash.
What?
Wayne hasn't been all over this post?
Amen brother.
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